Frank the fox.

I wish my life were more like a romantic comedy. They make a lot of money.

Life is all about give and take. Specifically giving up and taking drugs.

Just learned that “liberal arts” comes from the Latin word, “liber,” meaning “free,” and “al arts,” meaning “unpaid intern until you’re 35.”

Sometimes you need Dina Lohan to sit on the curb outside 7-11 to smoke a cigarette and eat nachos with you, and tell you everyone’s just jealous.

I love sleep because I hate people and I’m really into dying, but I also like to wake up and eat.

If you were to draw a Venn diagram of my “funny tweets” and my “mature tweets,” it would look like two boobs.